http://emreeswritingportfolio.weebly.com
Hello parents of me, please take a look at my 1st semester sophomore portfolio and answer these questions in the comments below. Thanks!
-me
1. What piece of writing did you like best in my portfolio and why?
2. What did you like about my portfolio and sharing what would you like to see me improve on?
3. Which of the writing traits (ideas, organization, voice, word choice, and sentence fluency) do you feel was most successful for me?
4. Which of the traits of writing would you like me to improve on in the coming semester?
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Angry Letter: Grace Pacific (Final)
91-1020 Aeae St.
Ewa Beach, HI, 96706
December 9th, 2014
Grace Pacific
110 Puuhale Rd.
Honolulu, HI, 96819
Dear Grace Pacific Administration,
Sincerely,
Emree Sato
Ewa Beach, HI, 96706
December 9th, 2014
Grace Pacific
110 Puuhale Rd.
Honolulu, HI, 96819
Dear Grace Pacific Administration,
Grace Pacific has been good to our family. My dad has been employed for 26 yard and Grace Pacific has provided work for him every day. Even during slow periods, work was still available.
However, the job can be dangerous and life threatening. In the asphalt department, heavy machinery, heat, enclosed spaces, and working in high areas are involved. When the plant needs to be repaired my dad takes part in cutting with torches, running machinery, and heavy lifting, which causes him to come home with many burn marks all over his body. The only procedure they have to follow is the PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) which includes safety glasses, gloves, ear plugs, and a hardhat. Even though he wears all the protective equipment, the iron slag burns right through and the same for his co-workers. Most of the employees can't afford to buy quality protective equipment, so I feel they should provide employees with hot oil gloves, welding leather jackets and gloves, and NOMEX brand clothing (coveralls that don't catch on fire). Without this equipment, employees will get injured quickly and will have to continue working in pain due to the burns. Many companies that work with intense heat use NOMEX coveralls and extra protective equipment, like Hawaii Electric and chevron Hawaii. I think it's not unreasonable for your company to provide protective gear.
In addition, they have water totes (containers) that hold up to 300 gallons but the water is stale, foul smelling, and stagnant. There's no clean water on site, but only burn gel in first aid kits and aloe plants growing on the premises if a burn ever did occur. I understand that they can't have fresh running water due to the fact that they work with different types of oils, such as hydraulic oil, diesel fuel, and asphalt that can contaminate the ground, but maybe there could be a kind of oasis with a supply of freshwater close by so that if a burn does occur, workers could cool off their skin. Through this all, Grace Pacific has provided my family for 26 years and we are truly grateful.
Although, I respect your policies of providing safety equipment for employees but feel that you should do a better job of providing better quality clothing and fresh water for aid.
However, the job can be dangerous and life threatening. In the asphalt department, heavy machinery, heat, enclosed spaces, and working in high areas are involved. When the plant needs to be repaired my dad takes part in cutting with torches, running machinery, and heavy lifting, which causes him to come home with many burn marks all over his body. The only procedure they have to follow is the PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) which includes safety glasses, gloves, ear plugs, and a hardhat. Even though he wears all the protective equipment, the iron slag burns right through and the same for his co-workers. Most of the employees can't afford to buy quality protective equipment, so I feel they should provide employees with hot oil gloves, welding leather jackets and gloves, and NOMEX brand clothing (coveralls that don't catch on fire). Without this equipment, employees will get injured quickly and will have to continue working in pain due to the burns. Many companies that work with intense heat use NOMEX coveralls and extra protective equipment, like Hawaii Electric and chevron Hawaii. I think it's not unreasonable for your company to provide protective gear.
In addition, they have water totes (containers) that hold up to 300 gallons but the water is stale, foul smelling, and stagnant. There's no clean water on site, but only burn gel in first aid kits and aloe plants growing on the premises if a burn ever did occur. I understand that they can't have fresh running water due to the fact that they work with different types of oils, such as hydraulic oil, diesel fuel, and asphalt that can contaminate the ground, but maybe there could be a kind of oasis with a supply of freshwater close by so that if a burn does occur, workers could cool off their skin. Through this all, Grace Pacific has provided my family for 26 years and we are truly grateful.
Although, I respect your policies of providing safety equipment for employees but feel that you should do a better job of providing better quality clothing and fresh water for aid.
Sincerely,
Emree Sato
Final Draft: Risky Business
Teens' lives have revolved around their phones, mostly smart phones. Social media such as Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and YouTube have always been teen's favorite apps to have on their smart phones. Also texting has overpowered taking over the phone in this 21st century. Social media and texting is a major distraction in many teens' lives and also has many consequences such as lack of sleep, health issues, and interrupt face-to-face interactions. Even though teens can learn responsibility from having a cell phone, specifically a smart phone, there's a more negative influence that affects teens' in their health and social skills.
Texting can lead to lack of sleep, or tired teens. According to Dr. Gaby Badre, "...addiction to phones is becoming common and youngsters feel under pressure to be interconnected and reachable 24 hours a day." Most times when teens text their friends about something their going through (good or bad), you're going to want to know what's going on; that's why teens feel that they need to be interconnected and reachable all the time... especially at night, that's the time when everyone likes to talk about their problems. Also, teens are always searching for the latest trends and celebrity gossip by going on their phones, and checking out twitter and instagram for the latest news on "pop culture" (modern popular culture transmitted via mass media and aimed particularly at younger people). Dr. Badre suggests to "Restrict phone use and institute cell-phone free slots during the day, adolescents need to have 9 hours of sleep each night." Without 9 hours of sleep, teens won't be able to stay awake in school or be energized for any activities they attend during the day. Although, with those cell-phone free slots during the day and enough sleep, teens could be doing activities with friends or just taking a nice stroll in the park. Sounds more fun than sitting on a couch and staring at a bright screen all day.
Cell phones can harm teens health. According to www.dnaindia.com, "The excessive use of cell phones can lead to an increased risk of cancer, brain tumors and many other health hazards. More so in cases of teenagers/children." Cell phones aren't only affecting teens' sleeping hours, but it's also putting their user's lives in danger. www.dnaindia.com also states, "A 400% increase in the risk of brain cancer among teens using cell phones. Teenagers/children are more vulnerable to cell phone radiation. The younger the child, the deeper the penetration of electromagnetic radiation, as the children's skulls are thinner." Most teens should know the consequences of staying on your phone for a long period of time, it could cause severe damage to your body, especially for the younger ones. We can prevent these health problems by limiting our time on our cell phones each day.
Cell phones and texting are destroying how people talk face-to-face, relationships, and overall social skills. According to wlhsamplifier.com, "Teens are becoming more uncomfortable with any active and live social actions or confrontation of any kind, and are turning to their cell phones to do the work for them." Without any social skills, teens won't feel comfortable in the future when they have to take interviews for jobs or make presentations in college. wlhsamplifier.com also states that "Texting and social media are becoming the new phone and face-to-face confrontation. As teenagers continue to text their way to the top, innate social skills, grammar and spelling are threatened by fast moving thumbs and not enough characters." In a world behind a screen, teens are missing what's going on around them.
Put down the phone! Mute it, lock it away, or turn it off. Cell phones can cause a lack of sleep, harms teens' health, and are minimizing face-to-face interactions. By not having the proper amount of sleep, 8-9 hours a night, you won't have enough energy for school the next day. You won't be able to focus without the right amount of sleep. Also by spending way too much screen time on your cell phone, you will have a greater chance of getting cancer, brain tumors, and many other heath issues. Texting is pretty much a lazy way of talking to your family and friends. Texting shows no emotion nor feeling. You could be telling your whole life's story and your "friend" could just be answering "oh i see" without even understanding your situation. There's many pros and cons to texting but when in doubt, talk it out. When you leave your phone behind and have an actual conversation with someone, you might just find yourself learning something new and saving your own life.
Texting can lead to lack of sleep, or tired teens. According to Dr. Gaby Badre, "...addiction to phones is becoming common and youngsters feel under pressure to be interconnected and reachable 24 hours a day." Most times when teens text their friends about something their going through (good or bad), you're going to want to know what's going on; that's why teens feel that they need to be interconnected and reachable all the time... especially at night, that's the time when everyone likes to talk about their problems. Also, teens are always searching for the latest trends and celebrity gossip by going on their phones, and checking out twitter and instagram for the latest news on "pop culture" (modern popular culture transmitted via mass media and aimed particularly at younger people). Dr. Badre suggests to "Restrict phone use and institute cell-phone free slots during the day, adolescents need to have 9 hours of sleep each night." Without 9 hours of sleep, teens won't be able to stay awake in school or be energized for any activities they attend during the day. Although, with those cell-phone free slots during the day and enough sleep, teens could be doing activities with friends or just taking a nice stroll in the park. Sounds more fun than sitting on a couch and staring at a bright screen all day.
Cell phones can harm teens health. According to www.dnaindia.com, "The excessive use of cell phones can lead to an increased risk of cancer, brain tumors and many other health hazards. More so in cases of teenagers/children." Cell phones aren't only affecting teens' sleeping hours, but it's also putting their user's lives in danger. www.dnaindia.com also states, "A 400% increase in the risk of brain cancer among teens using cell phones. Teenagers/children are more vulnerable to cell phone radiation. The younger the child, the deeper the penetration of electromagnetic radiation, as the children's skulls are thinner." Most teens should know the consequences of staying on your phone for a long period of time, it could cause severe damage to your body, especially for the younger ones. We can prevent these health problems by limiting our time on our cell phones each day.
Cell phones and texting are destroying how people talk face-to-face, relationships, and overall social skills. According to wlhsamplifier.com, "Teens are becoming more uncomfortable with any active and live social actions or confrontation of any kind, and are turning to their cell phones to do the work for them." Without any social skills, teens won't feel comfortable in the future when they have to take interviews for jobs or make presentations in college. wlhsamplifier.com also states that "Texting and social media are becoming the new phone and face-to-face confrontation. As teenagers continue to text their way to the top, innate social skills, grammar and spelling are threatened by fast moving thumbs and not enough characters." In a world behind a screen, teens are missing what's going on around them.
Put down the phone! Mute it, lock it away, or turn it off. Cell phones can cause a lack of sleep, harms teens' health, and are minimizing face-to-face interactions. By not having the proper amount of sleep, 8-9 hours a night, you won't have enough energy for school the next day. You won't be able to focus without the right amount of sleep. Also by spending way too much screen time on your cell phone, you will have a greater chance of getting cancer, brain tumors, and many other heath issues. Texting is pretty much a lazy way of talking to your family and friends. Texting shows no emotion nor feeling. You could be telling your whole life's story and your "friend" could just be answering "oh i see" without even understanding your situation. There's many pros and cons to texting but when in doubt, talk it out. When you leave your phone behind and have an actual conversation with someone, you might just find yourself learning something new and saving your own life.
Friday, December 5, 2014
Angry Letter: Grace Pacific (Rough Draft)
Grace Pacific has been good to our family. My dad has been employed for 26 years and Grace Pacific has provided work for him every day. Even during slow periods, work was still available.
However, the job can be dangerous and life threatening. In the asphalt department, heavy machinery, heat, enclosed spaces, and working in high areas are involved. When the plant needs to be repaired my dad takes part in cutting with torches, running machinery, and heavy lifting, which cause him to come home with many burn marks all over his body. The only procedure they have to follow is the PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) which includes safety glasses, gloves, ear plugs, and a hardhat. Even though he wears all the protective equipment, the iron slag burns right through. I feel they should provide employees with hot oil gloves, welding leather jackets and gloves, and NOMEX brand clothing (coveralls that don’t catch on fire). Many companies work with intense heat use NOMEX coveralls and extra protective equipment, like Hawaii Electric and Chevron Hawaii. I think it is not unreasonable for your company to provide protective gear.
In addition, they have water totes (containers) that hold up to 300 gallons but the water is stale, foul smelling, and stagnant. There’s no clean water on site, but only burn gel in first aid kits and aloe plants growing on the premecise if a burn ever did occur. I understand that they can’t have fresh running water due to the fact that they work with different types of oils, such as hydraulic oil, diesel fuel, and asphalt that can contaminate the ground, but maybe there could be a kind of oasis with a supply of freshwater close by so that if a burn does occur, workers could cool off their skin. Through this all, Grace Pacific has provided my family for 26 years and we are truly grateful.
Although, I respect your policies of providing safety equipment for employees but feel that you should do a better job of providing better quality clothing and fresh water for aid.
Sincerely,
Emree Sato
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