Writing Standards Portfolio

First semester Language Arts wasn't that bad, but I feel that I could still improve on my organization skills. With more practice, I can do so much better. After looking over my portfolio, can you please answer these questions in the comment section:

1. What piece of writing did you like best in my portfolio and why? 
2. What did you like about my portfolio and sharing and what would you like to see me improve on?
3. Which of the writing traits (ideas, organization, voice, word choice) do you feel was most successful for me?
4. Which of the traits of writing would you like me to improve on in the coming semester?

http://emreeswritingstandardsportfolio.weebly.com/

KC3 Native Hawaiian Life: Hawaiian Language

     Native Hawaiian life has changed ever since the first foreigners (Americans) came to Hawaii. They changed their religion and their music.  The Native Hawaiian population is now decreasing, and the Americans (westerners) have changed the rules of speaking Hawaiian in the islands.  Never thought anyone could change this marvelous paradise into a paradise that is now lost. Hawaiian language was once the dominant language of the island until the westerners came and changes their culture.

     Olelo Hawai'i means Hawaiian Language. There are 5 vowels (a, e, i, o, & u) and 8 consonents. With only 13 letters in the Hawaiian Alphabet, the language should not be that hard to learn. With a simple language to learn, all Hawaiians should learn how to speak and write their cultural language. As of now there are 30,000 Hawaiian speakers.  Not only in Hawaii, but also in the mainland, Japan, and  Canada. No, there are not only Hawaiians in Hawaii, but all around the world. Hopefully, there will be more Hawaiian speakers in the future! With the language being pretty simple to learn and 30,000 hawaiian speakers today, more hawaiians should start learning how to speak and write the Hawaiian Language. 

     Hawaiian Language was a daily oral communication in Hawaii back then. When the missionaries (westerners) came, they started to try and print the language on books. The Hawaiians didn't know how to read, and they must've gotten confused on what the missionaries were trying to do. The Hawaiians couldn't understand very much english either. Schools were being built and the westerners made english the primary language and Hawaiian their secondary language; they couldn't speak Hawaiian in school, because it was banned. First the westerners took away the Hawaiian's land, and now they're taking away their language?! What an OUTRAGE. With the missionaries coming and making schools, they should've let the Hawaiians speak both english and hawaiian, for it was THEIR LAND and THEIR CULTURAL LANGUAGE. 

     Even though there were struggles in the past, the language is being revived. There are schools that provide classes that teach Hawaiiana, such as Kamehameha schools (with 6 levels of intensity) and many other Public and Private Schools on the island of Oahu. By keeping this language alive, our generation of Hawaiians will increasing by the thousands. It's nice to know that you have teachers that are trying to keep the hawaiian legacy of teaching, the future generations to come, about their culture and language.  Aha Punana Leo  is a school that teaches the ages 3-5 learn Hawaiian. It's best to start the keiki when they're younger. When they grow older, they'll also be teachers one day to increase the status of Hawaiian Speakers. Hawaiiana is not becoming extinct but a comeback because of all the programs and schools.

     The Native Hawaiians have gone through so much obstacles in being able to keep their language alive in the past that now, we're achieving their goal of increasing the status of Hawaiian Speakers! Even though Hawaiian language was once the dominant language of Hawaii, the westerners came, and forced the Hawaiians to learn English, they changed their culture forever. It is important that we keep Hawaiian Language alive because Hawaiian Culture is always connected to their Language. 

KC3 Draft

     Hawaiian life has been changing since the first foreigners came to Hawaii. Native Hawaiians worshiped false gods (Kane, Lono, Ku, and Kanaloa), before the westerners came. There were a group of foreigners called the ABCFM (American Board of Christian Foreign Missions); their goal was to spread the word of God to the Hawaiian people. By doing so, they forced the hawaiians to believe in God and changed their rules. If the hawaiians sinned, and weren't a part of the church, they would surely go to hell. With much of the foreigners coming from the mainland, came diseases; such as pneumonia. Native Hawaiians were dying left and right, decreasing the native hawaiian population. Back then, instruments were made to make music for the hula dancers who danced for their gods. After the foreigners came, they could no longer dance for their gods, but only dance and sing for entertainment. I will now talk about how Hawaiian Language was once the dominant language of the island until the westerners came and change their culture forever. 

     Olelo Hawai'i means Hawaiian Language. There are 5 vowels (a, e, i, o, & u) and 8 consonents. With only 13 letters in the Hawaiian Alphabet, the language should not be that hard to learn. With a simple language to learn, all Hawaiians should learn how to say and write their cultural language. As of now there are 30,000 Hawaiian speakers, not only in Hawaii but also in the mainland, Japan, and also Canada. No, there are not only Hawaiians in Hawaii, but all around the world. Hopefully, there will be more Hawaiian speakers in the future! With the language being pretty simple to learn and 30,000 hawaiian speakers today, more hawaiians should start learning how to speak and write the Hawaiian Language. 

     Hawaiian Language was a daily oral communication in Hawaii back then. When the missionaries (westerners) came, they started to try and print the language on books. The Hawaiians didn't know how to read, and they must've gotten confused on what the missionaries were trying to do. The Hawaiians couldn't understand very much english either. Schools were being built and the westerners made english the primary language and Hawaiian the secondary language; although they couldn't speak Hawaiian in school, it was banned. First the westerners take away the Hawaiian's land, and now they're taking away their language?! What an OUTRAGE. With the missionaries coming and making schools, they should've let the Hawaiians speak both english and hawaiian, for it was THEIR LAND and THEIR CULTURAL LANGUAGE. 

     Even though there was struggles in the past, the language is being revived. There are schools that provide classes that teach Hawaiiana, such as Kamehameha schools (with 6 levels of intensity) and many other Public and Private Schools on the island of Oahu. By keeping this language alive, our generation of Hawaiians will increasing by the thousands. It's nice to know that you have teachers that are trying to keep the hawaiian legacy of teaching, the future generations to come, about their culture and language.  Aha Punana Leo  is a school that teaches the ages 3-5 learn Hawaiian. It's best to start the keiki when they're younger. When they grow older, they'll also be teachers one day to increase the status of Hawaiian Speakers. Hawaiiana is not becoming extinct but a comeback because of all the programs and schools.

     The Native Hawaiians have gone through so much obstacles in being able to keep their language alive in the past that now, we're achieving their goal of increasing the status of Hawaiian Speakers! Even though Hawaiian language was once the dominant language of Hawaii, the westerners came, and forced the Hawaiians to learn English, they changed their culture forever. It is important that we keep Hawaiian Language alive because Hawaiian Culture is always connected to their Language. 

Oceans Of Nothing

     Imagine life without fish. Fishermen won't have a job, father and son fishing days will be over, and we won't be able to eat our most favorite type of sushi. The fish population is decreasing. By the middle of this centry, fishermen will have almost nothing left to catch. More and more fish are dying one by one.  

     Knowing that by the middle of this centry, fishermen will have almost nothing left to catch, meaning that the fishermen will now have to hunt for a new job and no fish for us and prices will increase on fish. According to Stephen Palumbi, a Stanford University marine biologist and co-author of the study published in science, "None of us regular working folk are going to be able to afford seafood, it's going to be too rare and too expensive."Over the past 3 decades, the fish export trade has grown fourfold, to 30 milion tons, and its value has increased $71 billion. It's sad to know that the fish population is decreasing, with that knowledge fishers should be cautious about how much fish they plan to take. About 90% of the ocean's big predators, like cod and tuna, have been fished out of existence, yet the destructive fishing practices have destroyed tuna and cod has not declined. At least 29% of fished species have already collapsed, according to the study, and this trend is accelerating. 

     We, as the consumers of fish, have to be more cautious in knowing how much fish we "need" and discipline ourselves to throw back the un-needed fish so that they will mature and produce. By letting the fish mature and produce, will possibly increase the fish population. If we keep that trend going, there will be more fishermen out at sea, more father and son fishing days, and we would get to eat all the sushi we want! Fish without life is life without fish. 

     

Graphic Card

Querencia: Final Draft

     As I enter the rusty blue truck, I could smell the cherry air freshener. Driving on the unpaved roads of Ewa Beach to Mililani is a hassle. Out of excitement, I tell my dad to speed up as I rush to put on the ripped knee pads, pretzel like ankle braces, and oversized mizunos. Finally, I have reached my destination. I grab all that I need out of the truck and race to the gym, hearing the gravel scrape against the grip underneath my shoes.

     I hear whistles blowing in all directions, the sound of hustling feet, and my teammates yelling at me to hurry up and warm up with them. Our coach leads us in dynamic exercises, high knees, shuffles, power skips, ect. After we finish our sweaty warm ups, we start off in doing some drills to improve our skills.

     First was serving. I grab the dull, stripped black and yellow ball out of the cart and sprinted to the back line of the waxed court. Taking a deep breath, I bounce the ball 5 times, stepping towards where I want to go, and swing at the ball. Watching the bomb-like ball fly over the net as it floats to my target. Everyone cheers, for we didn't have to run because of a missed serve. Passing was next. We all raced to the right corner of the court eager to be first in line. The swirling circles were being tossed in all directions and you could hear hustling feet and their voices calling their ball out, " I GOT IT " ! The ball goes to the far left of me as I dive to pass a perfect ball. Whistle blows. Signaling that we're done with practice. We all sigh, and beg our coach for an extra hour. Looking at the Nixon watch on his wrist and nods his head, we all cheer for joy.

     We split up into teams and play a mini game! First step on the court, my all the bad things in my mind are erased and I'm focused on the game, greedy for victory.Six people on the court. Whistle blows, beconing the server to serve. My team gets an ace for the passer on the other side missed the ball, by a lot. We're on a serving streak, she's still serving the ball to their weakest link scoring points here and there. Game's over, 25-0. We all shake hands, give and recieve friendly comments to one another. All of us look like we came out of the shower. We worked hard today. After practices we always have some free time to reflect on how practice was and how we're doing. I can say we all agree that school's a drag with all the homework and projects and we get stressed out. Coming to Volleyball Practice is a "stress reliever", take out all our anger on the volleyball by spiking the ball in our opponents faces. Our "medicine" to our problems. For all we have to do is have fun, no worrying about school work and drama. It's the place where I feel comfortable and surrounded by my closest friends, who i consider my 2nd family. 

Rough Draft: Querencia

     As I enter the rusty blue truck, I could smell the cherry air freshener. Driving on the unpaved roads of Ewa Beach to Mililani is a hassle. Out of excitement, I tell my dad to speed up as I rush to put on the ripped knee pads, pretzel like ankle braces, and oversized mizunos. Finally, I have reached my destination. I grab all that I need out of the truck and race to the gym, hearing the gravel scrape against the grip underneath my shoes.

     I hear whistles blowing in all directions, the sound of hustling feet, and my teammates yelling at me to hurry up and warm up with them. Our coach leads us in dynamic exercises, high knees, shuffles, power skips, ect. After we finish our sweaty warm ups, we start off in doing some drills to improve our skills.

     First was serving. I grab the dull, stripped black and yellow ball out of the cart and sprinted to the back line of the waxed court. Taking a deep breath, I bounce the ball 5 times, stepping towards where I want to go, and swing at the ball. Watching the bomb-like ball fly over the net as it floats to my target. Everyone cheers, for we didn't have to run because of a missed serve. Passing was next. We all raced to the right corner of the court eager to be first in line. The swirling circles were being tossed in all directions and you could hear hustling feet and their voices calling their ball out, " I GOT IT " ! The ball goes to the far left of me as I dive to pass a perfect ball. Whistle blows. Signaling that we're done with practice. We all sigh, and beg our coach for an extra hour. Looking at the Nixon watch on his wrist and nods his head, we all cheer for joy.

     We split up into teams and play a mini game! Six people on the court. Whistle blows, beconing the server to serve. My team gets an ace for the passer on the other side missed the ball, by a lot. We're on a serving streak, she's still serving the ball to their weakest link scoring points here and there. Game's over, 25-0. We all shake hands, give and recieve friendly comments to one another. All of us look like we came out of the shower. We worked hard today. After practices we always have some free time to reflect on how practice was and how we're doing. I can say we all agree that school's a drag with all the homework and projects and we get stressed out. Coming to Volleyball Practice is a "stress reliever". Our "medicine" to our problems.

Vocabulary Pictures

Roots and Recipes: Final Draft

  As I sit by the table waiting for the New Years guest to arrive, I watch my grandma make her flavorful nishime! Nishime is a humble Japanese Vegetable Stew that is very popular for the households in Hawaii durring New Years! While  she gathers all her ingredients and supplies, I ask, "Grandma, when have you started making nishime?". "I learned from a friend 20 years ago, in 1993", she replies. "I make nishime for my family because they love to eat it durring New Years and it makes me feel special knowing that I can make my family happy by doing what I love, making food. Hopefully you can learn how to make nishime too, so it becomes a tradition to the Sato family.", she added.

  I watch her as she pours the chicken broth into the pot; cuts the crunchy orange carrots, lightly salted aramio (Japanese potato), juicy mushrooms, and golden dikon then adds the ingredients in the steaming pot of knotted, soaked konbu (seaweed). She tells me that while she makes nishime, memories flash before her eyes, "When I was a little girl, my siblings and I would play outside and watch the radiant, illuminecent fireworks fly in the air and burst in midair. When the show ended, we would race to the rugged green house and try to get the first bowl of nishime.". As I look into the pot I see a wonderful mixture of fresh, cooked vegetables and juicy meats.

  Once all the guests arrived and gathered around the table, my grandma brought out the gigantic pot of nishime. All you could here were the "Oo's" and "Ahh's" of the starving consumers. I was the 5th person in line for grandma's once-a-year nishime. Holding my ceramic bowl, my hands start shaking eager to taste all the delectable ingredients and flavors. Watching the vegetables plop into my bowl, I close my eyes and wiff in the sweet aroma of the stew. When I get to my table, everyone's digging into the nishime. The first scoop is always the best, I could taste all the delicious ingredients; crunchiness of the carrots, the salty aramia, juicy mushrooms, daikon, knotted seaweed, and the succulent meats. Every bite was scruptious. I could've sworn everyone took about 5 minutes to eat all their nishime. "There's enough for seconds!", grandma yells. 

Roots and Recipes: Rough Draft Essay

   As I sit by the table waiting for the New Years guest to arrive, I watch my grandma make her flavorful nishime! While she gathers all her ingredients and supplies, I ask, "Grandma, when have you started making nishime?". "I learned from a friend 20 years ago, in 1993", she replies. 

   I watch her as she pours the chicken broth into the pot; cuts the crunchy carrots, lightly salted araimo (Japanese potato), juicy mushrooms, and golden daikon and adds them to the steaming pot of knotted soaked konbu (seaweed). She told me while she's makes nishime, memories flash before her eyes, "When I was a little girl, my siblings and I would play outside and watch the fireworks at our grandparents house. When the show ended, we would race to the rugged house and try to get the first bowl of nishime.". As I look into the pot I see a wonderful mixture of fresh, cooked vegetables and juicy meats! 

   Once all the guests arrived and gathered around the table, my grandma brought out her gigantic pot of nishime. All you could hear were "Oo's" and "Ahh's". I was the 5th person in line for grandma's once-a-year nishime. Holding my ceramic bowl, my hands start shaking eager to taste all the delectable ingredients and flavors.   

Roots and Recipes

1. The food I will be describing is Nishime. 

2. Special Memory: My grandma makes it twice a year; Christmas and New Years. From as long as I can remember, I could tell it was the holiday season because of this - to look forward to the celebration of Jesus' birth and gifts, and the start of a new year filled with lasting memories and learning experiences. 

3. Sensory details: Nishime includes a variety of vegetables that are oh so sweet, juicy & flavorable. It goes well with hot rice and is a meal in itself. Included in this dish are the basics: Protein, starch, and vegetables - chicken, potatoes, carrots, mushrooms, and seaweed. It's really delicious and enjoyed by the whole family. 

4. I will be interviewing my grandma about my food.